Look at this fucking awful tumblr

Okay, kiddie-cakes. We are leaving this tumblr for the land of the fresh: lookatthisfuckingawful.tumblr.com.

Basically, the concern is that our current platform doesn’t allow for a broad distribution of our content conception. That’s what business development guys tell us anyways. See: CNN.com.

Anyways, head on over to our new site where, among other things, you’ll see…the same old boring shit you see here (but we do have a fun new logo featuring our favorite Latfat cast of characters).

See you on the other side.

Pros: We got to use “kiddie-cakes” in a post.

Over here at Latfat, we really like strip clubs.

There is nothing better than big’ol-bitty-titties flapping in the nude above stretch marks and c-section scars. It makes us feel like a little boy on his 13th birthday when he sees his first pubic hair (that kind of came out like something a pedophile would say, didn’t it?).

That’s being said, we’d really like you to visit this tumblr (NSFW). It kind of makes us feel about as great as we could feel when it comes to endless re-blogs. Take note fellow tumbltards: This is how you re-blog.

Pros: This. This. And This.

TWO-FOR-ONE STRIP CLUB STEAK FRIDAY!

What do you get when you cross post from Gizmodo, post extremely dated Internetz memes, and have a flamboyant self-serving logo?

OMG WHAT?????

Why Jamie Martin’s tumblr of course!

Pros: Fukk’n Ninja Turtles

This cat is lazier than this guy (Ed note: he should also never ever be confused with fake award-winning site The Awl).

We mean, look at his tumbl-template…basically he’s lazier than these tumbltards.

But we really can’t wait for synth-pop band to headline the next Reblog This.

Pros: Remember Roundhouse? We do. Sometimes we sit around in our underwear, watching old footage of Micki Duran wondering, “What ever happened to that fine piece?” Maybe we can find out here…

And then you remember this asshole has the ear of the country, and you find a tumblr like this.

Woof. Somebody alert the Southern Poverty Law Center, because we’ve got a problem over here.

This kid knows what we’re talking about.

Pros: Almost makes us feel better about finding this atrocity.

Did you know that this guy has been around longer than that guy who twitters the shit that his septuagenarian dad says? He even had a blogger blog before switching to the hype machine that is tumblr.

But is he fending off publishers left and right? Not as far as we can tell.

Maybe Christopher Hitchens is right.

After all, if this woman is so great, why isn’t it “Stuff My Wife Says?”

Pros: No seriously, if this guy doesn’t act, we’re going to swoop right in there.

Let’s take Twain’s use of “grade” in a different manner and actually assign Chad here a grade on his ability to conceal his vanity.

F-

Pros: That tumblarity boost we got when he followed everybody on tumblr felt pretty good for a second, right tumbltards?

While the rest of the nation was glued to their televisions watching the greatest hoax since the Bush Administration put forth evidence of WMDs in Iraq, somebody was grabbing a valuable piece of internet, and did nothing with it.

This is lazy even by tumblr standards. There are way more things that could be stolen from across the internet for this.

Pros: Our dashboards already had enough balloon boy nonsense.

Do you like fucking brilliant and timely insights?

•Why has it all of a sudden become cool to listen to music from 70’s/80’s and for everyone to own a record player may I ask?

•I wonder how different swine flu is, from normal flu? It’s no different. Just more publicised[sic].

•”Alright”? The Beatles were bloody brilliant if I say so myself.

At first, we were stunned. Then we snapped out of it and realized where we were, tumblr: the new Livejournal.

Pros: Owls.

If Micheal Steele had a tumblr we imagine it would be something like Ice Cream Tee.

Just like “Change the Game” (formerly titled “What up?” Ha.) we see that Ice Cream Tee knows, “the Internet has been around a while, now” and the same design principals of MySpace must spread over the internets.

God…and we could just imagine Steele saying, “reeses peeeeanut buuuuutter cups” really loud at a fundraiser. Or at a grocery store. Or really anywhere… man isn’t right. But he loves puppies.

Pros: What we would really like to see is Micheal Steele, Michele Bachmann and C. Tomas Howell have dirty sex.

Naw…that’s ignorant.